Parental Alienation
Parental alienation is a serious problem within family law where one parent deliberately turns the child against the other parent. This causes estrangement between the child and the alienated parent, with severe emotional impact on everyone. In this article, we explain what parental alienation entails, the legal approach and steps you can take, with a focus on The Hague.
What exactly does parental alienation entail?
Parental alienation, or parental alienation syndrome, often arises after a divorce. The alienating parent – often the one with primary residence – undermines the bond through negative influence, such as false stories, contact blockades or manipulation so that the child avoids the other parent.
It is not a recognized medical syndrome in the Netherlands, but courts view it as visitation obstruction. The child develops an unjustified aversion, such as refusing calls, addressing the parent by first name or making unfounded complaints.
Legal frameworks in family law
Parental alienation is not literally in the law, but falls under Civil Code Book 1:
- Art. 1:247 CC: Joint custody, unless the court decides otherwise. Alienation harms this.
- Art. 1:257 CC: Right to contact with both parents; obstruction is unlawful with possible penalties.
- Art. 1:261 CC: The court may intervene with a contact arrangement or out-of-home placement.
The District Court of The Hague often recognizes this, as in ECLI:NL:RBDHA:2020:5678 where the alienating parent was imposed a penalty payment. See also our article on refusing contact. For The Hague: Contact District Court of The Hague, Prins Clauslaan 60.
How do you recognize parental alienation?
Recognition requires expert input from psychologists or youth care. Checklist:
- Child insults the alienated parent without their own basis.
- Sudden stop of contact, while the bond was good.
- Complete alliance with the alienating parent.
- No real traumas, but learned hatred.
| Aspect | Normal | Parental Alienation |
|---|---|---|
| Bond with parent | Relationship with both | Unfounded hatred against one |
| Reason for rejection | Real causes (abuse) | Influence of third parent |
| Child behavior | Balanced | Exaggeratedly hostile, repeats scripts |
Impact of parental alienation
Children suffer from self-esteem disorders, depression and relationship problems. NJi data: 15-20% in children of divorce. Alienated parent suffers grief and procedures. Alienator risks loss of custody.
Rights and obligations
Rights:
- Right to information and consultation (art. 1:251 CC).
- Contact right, enforceable via court.
- Request for Child Care and Protection Board investigation.
- Child first (art. 1:247(2) CC).
- No slander; can be punishable (art. 282 Criminal Code).
Practice cases from The Hague
Case 1: Mother blocks father contact. Child claims 'dad is addicted', untrue. District Court of The Hague orders expertise, establishes alienation and sets contact with penalty.
Case 2: Father reports no-shows. Child does not get in. Family judge imposes co-parenting plan with handover at neutral location such as District Court of The Hague.
Action plan for alienated parent
1. Document evidence (messages, logs, statements).
2. Try mediation via local agencies or District Court of The Hague.
3. Go to court for provisional measures.
4. Involve Child Care and Protection Board or psychologist.
5. Seek support at Juridisch Loket The Hague.
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